Step 1

After finding everything out for myself and a little help from someone who I'd never would have thought about helping me. I finally found out about an affair that had been going on around the beginning of April to May 18th at least. I'm still torn up about it, after all I just found out the other day. We're splitting up, but I feel like in a way I'm in love with someone completely different, like I can't just sit back and watch him and love him the same way. We made the decision that we'd try "one more time" and that's the only chance left to make a good decision. I was afraid to say I wanted to start over, I was afraid of trying so hard at something that I was thought was perfect in the beginning. I honestly thought everything was perfect in our relationship, I didn't see anything wrong. But I was wrong and now we're starting completely "new". We're starting off like we're dating again and this is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It's honestly like one minute I'll be balling my eyes out and the next I'll be happy as can be because I'm with the one I love. Then I remind myself of what he done to me. I remind myself of how our relationship has almost gotten destroyed, but her (the other woman) relationship still stands tall and strong. I get to sit back and suffer, while she gets to lie to her fiance'.